Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude i'm inner monologue high
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
