ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
