windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
