Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
