thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
