her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
