so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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