This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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