I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
