Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
