guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
4 words: hood of his car
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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