lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
