Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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