Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
