I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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