what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
