I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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