I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
