Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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