Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
