i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
