clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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