quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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