Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
