I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
