im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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