I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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