sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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