then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
