what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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