i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
