So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
