You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
