I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
