she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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