Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
