I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm having to shit out rocks
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
