i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
