you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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