If that was your dad, he is hot
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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