he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
