Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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