I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Life is so much better after having sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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