i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
