I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
