About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
