Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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