her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
