I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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