All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
