So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
