Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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