Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
