just tell him i said nine months
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
