Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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