you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
