I'm going to jail i love you
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
