tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I still have a little drunk in my system
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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