Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
