have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
