morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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