What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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