Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
