i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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