i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
