Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
