How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
