I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
