remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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