umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
