..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
