my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
