Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
