yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
